It may be hard to believe, but there are lots of people out there who have never used dating apps before. It’s a whole new world for them and modern dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder says there’s one common mistake women tend to make when they first get into dating apps. She calls it “the texting trap” and it’s basically where the single ladies start texting for hours with the first man who shows them interest.
Wunder warns that “you don’t want to text with men too much because the more you text, the more virtual it gets.” She says when matches and messages start trickling in, texting back and forth may feel good to start with, but it actually makes a real connection less likely.
The dating coach explains that the more available you become in their heads, the less likely they are to ask you out for a real date. So Wunder has a simple process for avoiding the dreaded “texting trap”:
- Have a minimum of four messages online, then say to them: “I’d much rather hear your voice.”
- From there, set up a phone call and use your intuition about whether you like the sound of them or not.
Wunder says the five-minute call can help you filter out who’s not a good match and keeps you from “wasting time chatting with men all day like teenagers.” And she says it’s important to go from the call to the date really fast because “that’s where the magic happens.”