Do you have a family member you’re dreading seeing at the Thanksgiving table? One that steers the conversation down the awkward avenue? Maybe you don’t and your family is super nice, or maybe you’re the one that makes things uncomfortable and no one’s called you out yet!
If you want everyone to leave your next family gathering or Friendsgiving without having an identity crisis, here are the questions experts say you should avoid:
- “Why aren’t you in a relationship?”/“What happened to so-and-so?” Even if it’s coming from a good place, just avoid prying into someone’s relationship status altogether. Why bring up painful memories or trauma? They’re already feeling lonely enough during the cuffing season without you digging.
- “When are you getting married? ”Marriage “is a sensitive area and many people prefer to be private about their relationships, so proceed with caution,” says psychotherapistGinger Poag. You’ll know when someone is getting married when you get an invitation in the mail.But if you keep on prying, you’ll probably be off the guest list in no time.
- “Did you lose/gain weight?” Even though you think you’re being nice by telling someone they’re looking healthier, you’re actually not.Chelsea Woodard, a director at an eating disorder clinic, says complimenting weight loss really means what you value about someone is their appearance. This can “cause fear that if their weight increases, people will judge them or think they look bad.”It will also make them feel weird about getting seconds, and who doesn’t like seconds?
- “When are you going to have kids?” Would you ask someone when they’re having unprotected sex next?No?Then why would you bring up starting or expanding a family? There are lots of factors that go into this type of decision like relationship status, financial standing, and fertility, and none of them are your business.
- “You’re voting for who?” In case you missed it, we’re currently living in one of the most divided moments in US history, so maybe skip the politics this holiday season. “There is a time and place for these discussions in various relationships, but a family gathering with others who might not know you as well, it can be something that makes or breaks a gathering,” says Craig Dike, a clinical psychologist.
See the full list of questions to avoid during your next family gathering here.But really? USE YOUR BRAIN. We know ‘Uncle Louie’ is a douchebag ...but let’s just pretend he’s “eccentric” for a day and play nice. Because if you attack (even if you’re right)?You've become “the one that ruined the family dinner.”
Source:HuffPost